my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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