how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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