haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
