i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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