Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
