just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
