Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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