Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
