I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
