Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
