well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
