You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
