Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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