her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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