This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize