She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just high enough for therapy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So. Much. Porn.
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