My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
