Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just want to make out with him forever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
