Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
