worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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