I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ketchup is God's man juice
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
