I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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