She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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