My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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