I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize