I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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