You made me cry and you don't even care
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what day is it and did you see me today?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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