addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
