Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize