WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
