Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
