This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
this must be what syphilis tastes like
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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