this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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