He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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