They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
