Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
