Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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