they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
