omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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