I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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