There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
