no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
