We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
