Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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