Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
