girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize