im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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