Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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