um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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