i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
