My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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