Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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