I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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