I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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