We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
