Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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