I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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