We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
