so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
