I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
