just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
