I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
